so last night i was playing a game of spider solitaire, on intermediate (2 suites), and i really couldn't beat the stupid thing. "no more moves, game over" kept popping onto the screen at which point i could either click "end game" and give up, or "return and try again". for some reason, which i still don't know, i could not give the stupid game up. i kept going back, retracing my steps, and making changes i thought would help. honestly, the one game took me two hours to beat, and i went back to the beginning at least a dozen times. it actually got to a point, after i'd been working on it for like and hour and a half, that i was so frustrated i started crying, and kept saying "there has to be a way to beat this, there's always a way, there has to be a way i can make this work!" it was pretty ridiculous. this seems silly to me, because i usually don't get so dramatic about a stupid game. when i finally beat it i was SO relieved.
after that was all done, i started thinking about how often people say "man, if i could only go back and do that over, things would be so much better now!" we all think that if we went back to a certain mistake and fixed it, things would be so much better. but in reality, would they? if we're not strong enough to make things right in the first place, why do we think we could go back and make it right a second time? chances are we'd screw things up again, just in a different way. we lean on our own strength and our own understanding to try to make our lives good, even as christians. and if we could go back and change things, what would we learn? maybe our mistakes are the things that shape our future; after all, without them we would have nothing to learn, and nowhere to grow from.
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That was very profound.
ReplyDeleteIt's often along my thought line when I encounter a jar of spaghetti sauce. The stupid jars are IMPOSSIBLE to open.
I realize that's completely different.
I mean that I've cried over that before too, and thought of how, when it's so hard, I desperately (out of hunger) try to open it again and again, instead of taking it to my dad and asking him to do it for me. Usually my hand turns red.
My thought line would go: why do we keep doing this? When things get hard, instead of taking them to our heavenly Papa, we try again and again, crying out of desperation, when the situation is as simple as letting go of the stupid jar and giving is to Dad. Then when we meet the same challenge, or even a different one, later, we do the same thing. *sigh*
Us humans! We're so slow!
"maybe our mistakes are the things that shape our future"
ReplyDeleteI think you have it right there. :)
The comparison between a spider solitaire game and the infinite paths of our lives is pretty interesting, though...
Good thought.